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Results
Our results and a brief resume of the day is published shortly after the event has happened.

 Event 3 - Tidworth Garrison
Captains Log: Star Date two three dot four point nineteen

The Star ship SS Hampshire Hackers landed on alien territory Thursday 25th April. 25 golfers ventured out on to this lush green ground, with its stoney sand shapes, its slightly bumpy green bits and accompanied by the dark sound of robotics on the first nine and our fellow Starship Troopers (whoops wrong film) annihilating the bugs on the second nine. At least the anal death probe helicopter (chinook) only circled us once.

Tommy (The Vulcan) before we started was moaning about his handicap (didn’t he win last time out) and of course Brian (Dummer & Dummer) was getting his excuses in. Brian’s pristine new shoes worn for the first time at Barton had lost their cleats – not surprised see below picture of them.

 

Ade was also in a strange mood before the game, Singing & Dancing with ACTIONS to Michael Jackson’s Don’t blame it on the sunshine, don’t blame it on the moon light, don’t blame it on the bad swings, blame it on the bogies.’ , whilst Ray was pleased to report that the Klingons had repaired his back, but still required a buggy for the rest of him.

Your Captain again had the pleasure of getting the day underway with a horrible whippy drive up the left hand rough on the first, a six iron to the green, two putts and a regulation par.

The winner on the day was Vice Captain Jim Pretty, who without the burden of being Captain played his was to a magnificent 37 points and a 2-stroke handicap cut. James Harris was second with 35 points (the second time he has been on the podium this year) and looks a solid bet to be there or thereabouts at our Galaxy awards in January. Peter Davy strolled in with 33 points for third place.

Hole of the day has been awarded to Jon Paardekooper for his fine effort on the short Par 3, 5th hole of 170 yards. A flushed 6 iron down the fourth hole (yes, the 4th hole), left him a great angle in under the trees and over the bunkers that protected the green. Even the great Seve would have shuddered at having this shot to make. Another 6 iron, this time in true Scottish style chased the ball under the trees between the bunkers but short of the green. A wedge chip in for 3. A regulation par he announced and ‘No one will know’!

Your Captain set the early standard at both the Par 3, 5th and 13th holes. But with what must have been magnificent shots to get inside the markers, Brain (Dummer & Dummer) Kirby at the 5th and Kraig Chapman at the 13th were worthy winners of the nearest the pins. Kraig was also best guest with 27 points.

The £1 money holes were the 8th, 10th, 12th & 14th chosen by the Vice, and this was scooped up with 11 points by Mike Grieshaber.

What happened to disco dancing Ade our resident DJ Borg, I hear you ask? The club got stuck in the ground and my hand fell off at the 8th hole – not club throwing. Thus a good round drifted to mediocrity. The 8th hole was also interesting for Dummer & Dummer – Now where did I leave my Driver? Doh. Brain would be overjoyed with mediocrity – those shoes are the problem.  Jean Luc Bailey did not put up his usual challenge blaming it on the slow 4 ball in front!

After a superb carvery with 3 choices of meats, and copious quantity of vegetables, enough for the starving golfers to have seconds, the Star Ship Hampshire Hackers has departed to explore a strange new land in an outer planet known as Dorset.

See you at DUDSBURY GC on 16th May 2019. Bring your mates and make a day of it.

Live Long & Prosper

Captain Richard P Knight

scoresheet below (in new format)
Adobe Acrobat Document


 Event 2 - Barton on Sea
Captains Log:  Star Date twenty. Three. Nineteen.

The SS Hampshire Hackers arrived at planet BOSGC on its due date and on time. Cloud was evident and covering the Isle of Wight, but the Needles were clear and stunningly in view. The wind was light, the course dry, but not running, the greens receptive – An opportunity for fine scoring from the 19 Hackers and their 9 guests.

The questions were answered that were hanging in the air following last month’s voyage.
1.     Yes Brian ‘Dummer & Dummer’ Kirby had practiced – the day before and scored 30 points. Knowing the course now he would have been a good bet to take the glory – or would he.
2.     The Klingons couldn’t repair Ray’s back, so Bones has been sent for.
3.     Jean Luc Bailey, also practiced the day before, but didn’t win hole of the day.
The early clubhouse leader was your Captain, leading from the front, coming in with 36 points off his 10 handicap, two birdies helped his cause. On a receptive course this surely would be beaten.

The winner in fact was Tommy Frampton, welcomed back after a few months off following a horrendous cycling accident and other complications. A stunning 38 points on his first time out since the accident. Like a Vulcan, logical, analytical and brilliant, Tommy played within himself and got the reward his score deserved.

Best guest was John Spencer with 38 points, just pipping Graham Clarke (37 points).

Nearest the pin on the 8th was Neil Suthers and at the difficult 18th, new member Russell Whiteley, who appropriately won a professional putting kit for his efforts, as he missed the short birdie putt.

Hole of the Day was awarded to Matt Fox for his effort on the Par 3 10th, 200 yard hole. Having hit a 3 wood off the tee he found himself in the gorse on the right-hand side. However, the ball was balanced 3 feet up in the air in the gorse, and thinking like a Tribble not a Vulcan, Matt took out his 3 wood again and hit the ball baseball bat swing style. The ball careered across the fairway into the lake. A drop, a pitch and a couple of putts later – nil points. But did Matt transverse into the wrong Star themed film series with ‘MAY THE GORSE BE WITH YOU’?

Back to the prizes, second place was won by The Captain with 36 points & third was James Harris with 35 points.  Vice-Captain Jim Pretty chose holes 5 & 7 from the first 9, and 6 & 8 from the second nine. Two players shared the £28 pot with 10 points apiece over the 4 holes.

Back to Brian ‘Dummer & Dummer’ Kirby – 24 points scored despite the practice the day before, new very white golf shoes, and staying overnight before the golf so that he arrived fully rested, ready to win. No, Brian ‘Dummer & Dummer’ Kirby was obviously over golfed – ‘so much for the training cruise’. Beam me up Scotty cries were heard from Brian a number of times on the back nine.

BOSGC did not disappoint on the food front either with a superb steak pie and vegetables meal, where stories were recalled of what could and maybe should have been during the day.

So, warp speed onto TIDWORTH GARRISON on 25th April. Bring some guests, the more players there are the better. We very much missed those of you who have been unable to join us on our first two voyages.

Live long and Prosper.
El Capitano

Leaderboard
Position
Player's Name
Score
1
Tommy Frampton
38
2
Guest John Spencer
38
3
Guest Graham Clark
37
4
Richard Knight
36
5
Guest Tony Proudley
36
6
Guest Tom Keitley
36
7
James Harris
35
8
Adrian Knight
33
9
Paul Winslade
32
10
Darren Rockett
32
11
Mike Grieshaber
31
12
Guest Neil Suthers
31
13
Russell Whiteley
30
14
Guest Carl Faulds
30
15
Jim Pretty
30
16
Guest Janet Armitage
28
17
Guest John Cridland
28
18
Stephen Knight
28
19
Guest Jamie Saunders
28
20
Richard Manston
28
21
Phil Moody
28
22
Jim McIntosh
27
23
Mark Proudley
25
24
Brian Kirby
24
25
Matt Fox
24
26
Roger Bannister
23
27
Sue Snape
22
28
David Bailey
21


 Event 1 - Royal Winchester
Captains Log: Stardate 20 point 2 point 19
As the sun rose over misty Winchester 16 finely honed athletes descended upon the glorious slopes of the Royal Winchester Golf Club.
Brain Kirby was in first with excuses as to why he wouldn’t be in the winner’s enclosure – he wasn’t wrong there – but poor Brian hadn’t played since Dummer. Does that make Brian Dumber & Dumber? Ray also delivered his excuse, bad back, Deep heat spread on the offending area and wearing a weight lifters belt for support – looked like a girdle to me – but to be fair to Ray he was clearly in agony from mid round onwards and did extremely well to finish. For his painful efforts Ray did win a stroke to be added to his handicap for the year.
Your Captain for the year had the honour of not also welcoming you to his home course but also striking the first tee shot of the 2019 Hackers calendar. A mighty 3 wood steepled into the sky, eventually returning to earth next to the first bunker. A well stuck 7 iron ended up four feet from the pin, but the putt was missed as usual, still a fine four for 2 points.
The early clubhouse leader was David Bailey, relieved of the burden of Captaincy he strode in with a commendable 34 points. But hang on, a 3 on the par 5 ninth for 5 points had shot him to the top of the leader board. An eagle from David? On close analysis we find that David hit a great tee shot down the centre of the fairway. 250 yards to go a 3 wood was sliced wickedly and was going to be well out of bounds until striking the corrugated iron & brick … house. The ball ricocheted into the middle of the fairway ending up about 125 yards from the green. Then followed a thinned 5 iron that hit the lip of the bunker protecting the green, looped into the air, landed softly on the green and rolled into the cup. What could and should have been a triple bogey became an eagle. That’s why we just love the game.
Over a superb steak pie and vegetables meal, stories were recalled of what could and maybe should have been during the day. Your Captain 31 points, but 2 blobs on two of the par 3’s wasn’t good enough to get in the prizes.
David Bailey having sat prettily in the clubhouse thought that his score was good enough until Roger Bannister sprinted past him to pip David on the tape with a fantastic 35 points. Jim McIntosh came in 3rd with 33 points. Nearest the pin winners were John Spencer on the 7th and Pete Stubbs on the 17th. The £1 prize pot was shared between 3 players on 9 points picked up at stroke index holes 1, 2, 3 & 18 – chosen by Vice Captain Jim Pretty - (holes 8, 13, 15 & 17). As there was only £16 in the pot, one of the 3 players cards were drawn at random for the winner, who was, Roger Bannister.
Best guest was Daren Mills who with a handicap of 16 (Stoneham Golf Club member) cruised in with 41 points.
So, onto BARTON ON SEA on 20th March. Bring some guests, the more players there are the better. We very much missed those of you who were unable to play at Royal Winchester due to other commitments.
Barton on Sea is fantastic, you get loads of great views of the Solent and loads of fresh air. It beats being in the office! As one of our political leaders would say – This is the Society for the Many not the Few!
Looking forward to catching up with you all then.
El Capitano

Leaderboard
Position
Player's Name
Score
1
Guest - Daren Mills
41
2
Roger Bannister
35
3
David Bailey
34
4
Guest - John Spencer
34
5
Jim McIntosh
33
6
Richard Knight
31
7
Pete Stubbs
30
8
Jim Pretty
29
9
Paul Winslade
29
10
James Harris
29
11
Guest - Greg Simkin
26
12
Guest - Adam Costigan
25
13
Phil Moody
22
14
Ade Knight
20
15
Brian Kirby
19
16
Ray Cook
18